Swaziland at U12

Hello there,

I doubt anyone still reads this blog, but I thought this would be an appropriate way to reflect on the message I think I received tonight.  It's also a place for me to record, either just in case I forget, or more likely, if God sends me further affirmation or dissuades me regarding this.

It is the second and half day of Urbana 2012 in St. Louis, Missouri.  Tonight we heard about Caregivers in Swaziland, local volunteers who, driven by the love of God, take care of those who are sick with HIV.  They have no medical training beyond what might be provided by organizations such as World Vision, and have no supplies beyond that provided by the same organizations.  They live in poverty, not only materially but also spiritually.  And surely they see the kingdom of God.

I was moved very nearly to tears by the presentation, which focused around a particular Caregiver named Shortie.  The pinnacle was when our MC, Greg Jao, went backstage during a film about her and returned with none other than Shortie herself.  She received a very well-deserved standing ovation from all 16,000 attendees.

The main activity was creating 32,000 care kits filled with basic medical supplies, to be shipped to aid the Caregivers on the front lines.  I felt a number of emotions at the time.  I felt guilty, that here we are, sitting comfortably, well-fed and healthy, while human beings with as much dignity as we are suffering and dying in sub-human conditions in places like Africa.  I felt annoyed, that we were treating this exercise with such frivolity, singing and dancing and chatting as if Shortie's sacrifice had not meant anything to us.  I was contemplative, asking myself whether I could in fact sell everything I have and give it to the poor for the sake of following Jesus -- and to my great shame, I could not.  I felt useless, because I could not do much beyond providing gifts to the people of Africa.  But perhaps there is a place for me here too?  If Shortie -- illiterate, uneducated Shortie -- could become a Caregiver, could I live among the poorest people in the world and be their Caregiver?

Sovereign Lord, your servant awaits your plans in his life.

Matthew